5 Promises You Should Make To Yourself Every Day
The Huffington Post      | By Lindsay Holmes
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Posted: 07/30/2014 8:31 am EDT Updated: 07/30/2014 5:59 pm
Every day we make handfuls of commitments. We say we'll meet friends for drinks or pick up the dry cleaning. We swear we'll make it to the gym or call our grandmothers. And while these are all great promises, they all have one slightly negative commonality: They sound more like items on a to-do list than actual vows.

If you're wanting to make promises that are really worth crossing your heart for, try making the five vows below. Then swear not to break them.

I will make a point to notice when life is good.
good life

It's easy to dwell on the dreary days, the bad workouts, the broken coffee machine and the horrible fights, but the antidote isn't incessant rumination. Practicing gratitude in spite of the negative is the best way out. Expressing thanks -- whether it's just calling the good to mind or writing it down -- can help you deflect bad experiences and cultivate a happier attitude. By promising yourself you'll look at the good side and being thankful for it, you're automatically setting yourself up for joy.

I will listen to my body and my mind when I'm stressed out.
stress

As HuffPost President and Editor-in-Chief Arianna Huffington points out, burnout is the disease of our civilization -- so how can we prevent ourselves from catching it? When something's wrong, our bodies tend to scream louder than our minds. It's important to tune into the warning signs of stress -- physical and mental. That includes paying attention to out-of-the-ordinary symptoms like upset stomachs, tight muscles and recurring dreams, and making a promise to tap into those red flags. You may be able to stop (and ultimately avoid) burnout.

I will smile at one stranger today.

Giving a friendly grin isn't just a simple gesture -- it's an instant wellness booster. Studies have shown that the simple act of smiling can increase your mood, and flashing those pearly whites to a stranger can help you feel more connected. By promising to smile at someone once a day, you're not only helping yourself, you're boosting the morale of others. And doesn't that feel good?

I will be kind to myself.
kind

Whether it's your appearance or your abilities, you deserve to be treated respectfully --and that includes the thoughts you have about yourself. Research shows that self acceptance is paramount to a happier life, but it's the habit we tend to practice the least. Make a vow to be kinder to the person staring back at you in the mirror. Don't know where to start? Try saying these phrases to yourself each day.

I will try my best.
good grade

We're often our own worst critics when it comes to estimating our abilities, so make a promise to yourself today that you're going to take control of that criticism. Shame-based thoughts get us nowhere, and soon they affect more than our capabilities at work.

As licensed psychologist and author Margaret Wehrenberg points out, the labels we give ourselves are the ones that stick -- and it's better to accept what your best is than put down what you're not. "Observing without judgment can move you to see yourself in new, objective terms and can lead to greater understanding and acceptance of yourself without the negative labels," she wrote in a recent Psychology Today blog. "A consequence will be greater compassion toward others and more positive relationships."

While at my computer working on our everydaytaichi.org website, lucy looked outside her window and spots a spectacular rainbow all fired up as if it were shooting out from the ocean. This summer evening spray of light was beautifully lit and seemed to be striking a pose as if to say, "Look at me, I can go on forever!"

7 Ways To Tell If You're A Truly Humble Person
The Huffington Post      | By Lindsay Holmes
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Posted: 07/17/2014 8:00 am EDT Updated: 07/17/2014 4:59 pm
In a society where fortune favors the strong, modesty is often seen as a weakness. Climbing to the top of a corporate ladder is our modern version of “survival of the fittest” -- and for that reason, meekness is often under-appreciated. But turns out, the secret to success and fulfillment may very well lie in the ability to express humility.

The emphasis on humility in philosophy and religious texts shows that it’s a trait and principle that deserves to be revered. As Confucius once defined it, humility is “the solid foundation of all virtues” -- and possibly the key to achievement. While humble people are often seen in today's corporate culture as unassertive, passive types, there's something truly powerful about them that we can all stand to emulate. Studies have associated humility with healthy adjustment, good leadership and other positive emotions -- demonstrating that in order to reach total success, we could stand to benefit from getting in touch with our modest side. And this doesn't require as much self-deprecation as one might think, says Mike Austin, Ph.D., professor of philosophy at Eastern Kentucky University.

“Many people think of humility as ... thinking very little of yourself, and I don't think that's right,” Austin tells The Huffington Post. “It's more about a proper or accurate assessment. A big part of humility is knowing our own limits, our strengths and weaknesses, morally or otherwise.”

But beyond just knowing ourselves, humility can also build upon other positive traits we already have, Austin says. “In general, most traditions, religious or philosophical, believe that certain character traits make up a good person -- and a lot of those attributes are enhanced by humility,” he notes.

So how do we add a little more humility to our lives? Below, find seven traits humble people have mastered that allow them to live accomplished, fulfilled and happy lives.

They focus their energy on others.
outward

People who practice humility tend to reflect inward, but when it comes to where they focus their energy, it’s all about other people. Austin says that while humble people put others before themselves, they do it in a mindful manner that doesn’t end up hurting themselves in the long run. “Some people think of humility as thinking little of yourself, but I would say it’s someone who just doesn’t think about themselves that much,” he explains. “Their focus is just outward. They have a real interest in others and their contributions to the world.”

Because there’s this lack of self-absorption, humble people also have more courage to try new things. With a focus on others, there is less pressure to be perfect. “That really frees them up to take risks,” Austin says. “They’re not paralyzed with a fear of failure because that’s not their chief concern.”

They're conscientious.
In addition to being concerned for others, people who exude humility also act on their compassion. According to a 2012 study, humble people are more likely than prideful people to help out a friend. Additionally, research also shows that humble people show a more charitable and generous nature toward other people. Not a bad kind of person to have in your corner -- and certainly not a bad habit to adopt yourself. Science shows, after all, that altruism can benefit health and significantly contribute to happiness.

Their moral compass guides their decision-making.
hand holding compass

We’ve all been there: Stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to making a choice. But when humble people struggle with what the best option is, they look to their instincts. “Humble people have a habit of thinking about their values when they make choices,” Austin says. “It involves certain respect for important moral values -- like compassion.” Humility by its partial definition is to accept things with grace -- and part of doing that, he explains, is knowing that you made a decision you will stand by, no matter the outcome.

They see happiness as a journey.
Studies have shown that we tend to achieve happiness more when we’re not actually pursuing it. Humble people -- who already place their focus outward -- tend to naturally take this approach. As a result, the virtue allows them to feel fulfilled on a regular basis, Austin says.

“Human nature is such that we want to be happy, however we tend to define that, but ... people that are the happiest are the ones that don’t think so much about trying to be happy,” he explains. “That works for humble people. They get caught up in projects, people and things that they consider bigger and more important than themselves and then they get more happiness anyway as a byproduct.”

They excel as leaders.
While humility is more of a softer strength, that doesn’t mean it can’t make an impact in the boardroom. “It sort of defies the stereotype of the arrogant, self-centered CEO. ... You don’t really think of humility as a key trait for success in leadership, but it is,” Austin says.

Humble people have the ability to shine in professional settings because they give credit where it is due and are open to collaboration. And while the workplace tends to recognize self-promoters over their more modest counterparts, humility actually makes people better employees and bosses, TIME reports.

They know good things lie ahead -- and they’re OK waiting for them.
good things

When you live on the side of modesty, you’re genuinely thankful for the opportunities and accolades you receive -- and not only is that a refreshing outlook to have, but it helps you cope with the periods of wait time in-between. With humility, Austin says, you’re more capable of waiting for the peaks of your life to come -- and you’re grateful when they do. “We’re impatient with people and our circumstances because we want what we want, right now,” Austin says. “But because humility focuses so outwardly, it tends to foster patience.”

They have strong relationships.
While humility may sometimes be viewed as a subservient characteristic, when it comes down to it, most people don’t want a narcissistic friend or partner -- and that ability to posses modesty and genuine graciousness for others can significantly strengthen social bonds.

According to the American Psychological Association, humility creates a sense of “we-ness” in relationships. Being humble means possessing a better capacity to form cooperative alliances -- a crucial component in strengthening connections. “Of any communal endeavor, whether it’s a business, a family or an athletic team, humility can make those relationships better,” Austin says. “When there’s that kind of harmony, that’s when the better angles of our nature come out.”

For Optimal Health, Savor Your Life
Posted: 07/16/2014 5:37 pm EDT Updated: 07/16/2014 5:59 pm

Whether we suffer from common ailments like insomnia, high cholesterol and allergies or chronic illnesses like diabetes, heart disease and fibromyalgia, our health challenges interfere with our ability to enjoy our lives. The specifics of our respective health challenges simply impact our lives in different ways and to different extremes. For this reason, whatever complaints my patients have, I always ask this question at the outset of our work together: What will you do with your life, once your health is restored?

Usually the question takes my patients aback. Not only do people not expect a medical doctor to inquire about such matters, but most people have given little, if any, thought to the answer. Yet the answer to this question is typically the lynchpin for our ability to get and stay healthy.

In our fast-paced world, we are used to looking for quick-fix solutions to our health challenges, not realizing that these "solutions" in fact may contribute to our problems. Most health challenges are the result of an imbalance in our bodies and lives, and most quick-fix solutions actually exacerbate these imbalances. If, instead, we take a Slow Medicine approach -- identifying the root cause of our health challenges, then creating a thoughtful, step-by-step and long-term response to it -- we effectively bring ourselves back into balance. In doing so, we not only resolve our primary complaints, but we benefit elsewhere in our lives, often in unexpected ways.

As many of us are beginning to understand, health is not just the absence of disease, but rather, a state of wellness. Sadly, despite this realization, the more-more-more drive of our materialistic lifestyles -- more money, more status, more stuff -- is slowly killing us, from a combination of stress, isolation and emptiness. When we slow down, live our lives with passion, meaning and purpose and cultivate harmonious relationships with those who are important to us, we bring ourselves into greater alignment on every level -- body, mind, heart and soul. This alignment in turn enhances our sense of overall wellness, shifting us from the sympathetic nervous system's fight-or-flight response to the parasympathetic nervous system's healing response.

To this end, most of my patients have experienced symptom relief not from exercising this many times a day or ingesting that particular supplement, but rather, as a byproduct of whatever conscious steps they have taken to return to a state of genuine fulfillment, that place where they feel truly alive.They have done some combination of spending time in nature, playing a musical instrument, mending a broken relationship, volunteering at a homeless shelter or otherwise honoring, deepening, and celebrating their lives.

There are, of course, many external triggers for illness, such as environmental toxins or injuries that lead to a chain reaction of difficulties. In many cases, however, the root of a health challenge is related to an emotional or spiritual component. When this component is taken into consideration as part of a comprehensive treatment plan, people experience better outcomes.

The proverbial struggle with weight, for example, is typically aggravated by emotional eating, yet the most common "remedy" for it is dieting -- which in fact is often counterproductive. The shame, guilt and self-recrimination of dieting only exacerbate the root emotions -- creating a vicious cycle of feeling bad, then eating to feel better. Fixating on calories, exercise or specific foods entirely misses the point of why we overeat to begin with, and therefore is doomed to fail in sustainably transforming our habits. Instead, we need to identify why we are overeating: What void in our lives are we seeking to fill, and what steps can we take to actually fill it?

To achieve and sustain good health, no matter what the ailment, we need perspective. We need to zoom our lens on the area calling for attention, pan our lens to take in the big picture, then use our intelligence and intuition to connect the dots in-between. We need to become aware of each area of our lives and explore how to optimize our wellness in those areas -- by eating nutrient-dense foods, spending time by the ocean, becoming a foster parent, traveling abroad, finding a loving partner or whatever else helps us create a harmonious life that is filled with passion and purpose.

Everything is inter-dependent -- muscles and nerves, bodies and minds, people and planet -- with each connecting thread having a domino effect on the other. We all have the capacity to understand the inter-connected web of our health and to channel the domino effect in a positive direction. This individualized process requires trial and error, and therefore takes time, but ultimately allows us to cultivate lasting wellness.

Thewhole reason we want to be healthy, after all, is to lead a fulfilling and meaningful life. By figuring out how to do so right now, in whatever modified forms may be required at this time, we can achieve the state of wellness we seek, without unnecessary deprivation and pointless sacrifice. Instead of dieting, we can increase our intake of whole, unprocessed foods that are both healthy and delicious, and we can celebrate our meals with flowers, music and good company. Instead of exercising on a treadmill at the local gym, we can enjoy moving our bodies through hiking in the woods, practicing tai chi on the beach or dancing at a night club. These changes are all about living, which is the point of being well.

Getting healthy does not need to be a chore; rather, it can be an adventure. By getting creative about how to expand into the life we have right now, and by truly savoring this life -- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually -- we chart new paths to wellness that leave us feeling better on every level. And that is what health is all about.

HuffPost Blog/Third Metric Fellow
How to 'Work Out' Your Heart: A Guide to Building Emotional Strength
Posted: 07/15/2014 11:05 am EDT Updated: 07/15/2014 11:59 am EDT Print ArticleWOMAN IN WORKOUT CLOTHES DRINKING WATER

Most of us aspire to be in peak physical condition, so we take the stairs instead of the elevator, train for races or join a gym. We invest our money, time and energy into working out our bodies. We even plan our days around that cycle or yoga class, because, after all, if we don't make exercising a priority, we won't do it.

The benefits of physical exercise are endless and engrained in our minds at a very young age. However, an important workout regimen we overlook is the one that exercises the "heart" muscle.

I know the heart is an organ that needs standard exercise to thrive, but I'm talking about the heart in a figurative sense. Since it's natural to associate emotional strength and well-being with the heart, what if we gave the same care and focus in learning to work out our heart muscle the same way we work out and strengthen our bodies?

Dr. Scott Bea, clinical psychologist at Cleveland Clinic, said it best: "It rarely occurs to us that we can practice new attitudes, new emotional responses or characteristics."

Fortunately, some of the very same training techniques that we use to improve our bodies can also apply to our emotional and psychological fitness:

Warm Up/Cool Down
Warming up, stretching and cooling down are essential to physical workouts. They are what prepare your body before a workout, keep your muscles loose and bring your body back to equilibrium after. Similarly, self-love is what's essential to opening your heart.

woman look in bathroom mirror

Maximize the start and end of your days with repetitions of self-love:

As a warm up, start your day with self-affirmations to build your confidence and courage. Are you currently worried about something? Do you have a big day ahead of you? "Affirmations are a great way to center yourself, and how you start your day is critical to your overall happiness and how you live each moment," international life coach Shannon Kaiser explains. She suggests telling yourself, "All is in right order, I am right where I need to be to get to where I want to go, I accept myself fully in this moment." Or you can try one of these.

At the end of the day, center yourself with meditation. There are several ways to meditate and stay in tune with your heart and its needs. Next time you've had a busy day, take a few minutes to take deep breaths after work. This will help you know when it's time to say no to plans, put yourself first or even unplug to avoid burnout. Before you sleep every night, take a few minutes to let your mind be at peace, either reflecting on your day or letting it go from your mind altogether. With this mindfulness, you'll be able to better manage stress and gain fresh perspective on situations.

Build Stamina With Practice
Physical stamina is important because it is the power to physically perform at maximum efficiency and capacity. Similarly, emotional stamina is as necessary and demanding. Building emotional stamina is a matter of give and give -- give to yourself and give to others. The more you put compassion and generosity into practice, the easier it will become.

compassion

Compassion (kindness, empathy, thoughtfulness, giving) is the general concern for other people's well-being, and it can be extended through the day to strangers or friends. Recognize we are all human beings with the same basic needs for love, food, shelter, acceptance and happiness. Maintain this perspective every day as you interact with people of all moods and in all circumstances. Gratitude is the second source of emotional stamina. It's having awareness every day that you are alive and that you are blessed (in ways others may not be). It's seeking out and appreciating the wonder in the world.

Exercises to improve your emotional stamina:

Volunteer your time with no expectation of anything in return; this can be lending a hand to strangers or signing up for a structured event. Furthermore, ask and learn about your company's volunteer days policies and use them. "We don't need a reason to share the love, we just have to take the step to do it," explains Kaiser. "Simply ask how can I help, instead of what can I get."
Raise money for a charity. (If done through a walk or race, this can be a good way to work out your body and your heart.)
Don't hold back nice thoughts. Next time you're thinking a compliment or praise, whether it's thinking the person on the subway is well-dressed to appreciating how work was done in the office, say it freely.
Learn and address people by their names to create a personal connection or alliance.
Be conscientious of other people's feelings and time: Is someone huffing and puffing in line behind you at Starbucks? If you're not pressed for time, let them in front of you. Are you witnessing a customer rudely talk to an employee? Write a quick note or say something positive to lift the employee's spirits.
On that note, don't make quick judgments of people's actions, unless you know their whole story. And don't be a lesser version of yourself, because someone else isn't being his or her best self. Who you want to be is dictated solely by your choices.
Make a gratitude list of 10 things you are grateful for, every day, for a month. You'll find that you've started to take people and overlooked luxuries (like the ability to have Internet to read this post) for granted. Professor of Psychology at UC Davis Robert Emmons' advice is to remember that the most important lesson about trying to become more grateful is to not focus on yourself.
You never know the difference you will make in another person's life. And remember: What you put out into the world is what you get back in.

Endurance
Physical endurance is tested by the length of time of your performance rather than the level at which you are performing. The way compassion and gratitude provide everyday stamina for connecting with and living among others, positivity is absolutely necessary for your life-long capacity to endure, adapt and acclimate to anything that comes your way.

positivity

In order to not only survive but also thrive in life, you should be equipped with these three things:

The understanding that you have everything it takes to get through your struggles.
Faith in yourself, in humanity and perhaps in anything greater.
Knowledge that sometimes coincidences aren't real, and sometimes, everything just happens for a reason. As The Huffington Post President and Editor-in-Chief Arianna Huffington says in her book Thrive: "We don't have to know what coincidences mean, or arrive at some grand conclusion when we encounter them ... the combination of improbability, timing, and felicity has a kind of magic power. To the philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer, coincidences were the 'wonderful pre-established harmony' of the universe."
If you are able to look at the bright side and understand that each struggle is a greater opportunity for transformation, you can endure all that doesn't kill you. The optimistic heart is one that is resilient, one that can cope better and one that suffers lower rates of depression.

Stretch Out of Your Comfort Zone
Being physically flexible allows you to maximize and utilize the full range of motions of your body. The same applies to emotional flexibility. It's essential to become flexible as your life and the people in it change (for better or worse).

man on bench

Patience provides the heart with the necessary range of movement to deal with various situations. Along with patience comes the practice of forgiveness. This is simply accepting that other people's choices are their own and not relative to you -- regardless of whether you keep them in your life or not.

Exercises to flex your heart muscle:

Be tolerant of other people -- their opinions, their belief system, their way of living and their situations -- and respect their individuality.
Know the difference between what you can and can't control. As my favorite quote by Denis Waitley goes: "Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable."
Act on your inspiration, the pull of your heart. Kaiser explains that, "this will allow you to be comfortable in the unknown. We can develop more patience by trusting ourselves more, we can do this by nourishing the nudges that come to us."
Eliminate grudges, negativity and toxic relationships in order to maintain a healthy psychological well-being.
All of these training routines are intertwined the same way different physical workouts contribute to each other. By practicing one exercise, you strengthen your heart to improve in the others, and in the process, you build emotional strength. Strength that fuels your decisions to connect with other people, be authentic and maintain a happy and positive perspective through life.

It's time to be intentional and make working out your heart as important as working out your body, not just for the health benefits but also to be your best self and contribute to a better world.

7 Things Great Leaders Do Differently
Posted: 07/13/2014 11:50 am EDT Updated: 07/14/2014 3:59 pm EDT Print Article

There have been thousands of books and articles written about leadership. There's also a plethora of companies today that teach leadership skills. In my experience, however, these resources are mostly someone's ideas or theories about the specific behaviors that define great leaders. Yet, if you look closely, you'll find that the behavior of inspiring leaders does not fit a specific mold. The wildly different Gandhi and Vince Lombardi were both great leaders, for instance.

So, regardless of behavior, what truly defines leadership? To me, it's the following seven inside-out traits:

1. Great leaders know (beyond a shadow of a doubt) that their feelings come from their thinking, not their circumstances.
What's the main reason that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was one of the finest leaders of all time? He knew that his feelings came from inside of him. In spite of the dysfunctional actions of many, King realized that his perceptions of other people were based on the normal ebbs and flows of his own thinking (and subsequent moods). In short, great leaders look inside of themselves for explanations. This allows them to live in clarity more often -- a necessity if you want to motivate others.

2. Great leaders know that judgment is not helpful.
Here's a simple rule: Judging another person says more about your state of mind than the other person's. When your head is cluttered, you'll be prone to judge. When your head is clear, you won't be. Great leaders know that when their feelings are cluttered, disquiet, or insecure -- they're not capable of making sound assessments. They wait for clarity, peace of mind, or understanding to set in -- and evaluate the actions of others from this perspective.

3. Great leaders act from a feeling of inspiration, not desperation.
This trait might seem obvious. Yet, no matter how hard a person tries, if he or she doesn't understand the purpose of feelings, acting from desperation will occur too often. Great leaders understand that an "off" gut feeling is an intuitive sign that they're not seeing things quite right. So, making decisions from this psychological disposition won't pay dividends. Leadership is about acting only from inspiration -- when a person feels unencumbered, compassionate, and free.

4. Great leaders are genuine.
Following another person's approach to leadership will not work for you. Great leaders do not act like someone else. They're real, spontaneous, and natural -- never scripted. Remember: Genuineness is an offshoot of clarity, which originates from not blaming the outside world for one's feelings. Those who look inside for explanations are wonderfully unique. All leaders are.

5. Great leaders know that their words are less important than the state of mind from which they speak.
Words do not convey truth; feelings do. That's why people can say the same words with opposite connotations. Great leaders know that their words are merely an echo of a feeling -- and positive feelings only originate from positive states of mind.

6. Great leaders keep goal setting in perspective.
Those who appreciate the inside-out nature of life know that the more people focus on an outside "prize," the more they obstruct their awareness, shrink their perceptual field, and limit possibilities. Great leaders understand that achieving goals does not elevate self-worth or happiness. Instead, they relish the journey -- the relationships and experiences -- as the path toward creating what they want turns clear.

7. When in doubt -- great leaders look to love.
Great leaders set guidelines based on one overriding principle: Love for others. They grasp, above all else, that love is the epitome of a clear mind. So, when they're jammed up and not reaching their audience, great leaders look to love. How to help others then becomes obvious.

5 Surprising Things That Keep You Calm (Even If You Don't Know It)
The Huffington Post      | By Lindsay Holmes
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Posted: 07/15/2014 7:03 am EDT Updated: 07/15/2014 7:59 am
We all know meditating, going outdoors and doing yoga are incredibly useful ways to stave off stressful emotions, but sometimes we need to get creative when it comes to boosting our mood. The truth is, the secret to finding some zen may be closer (and easier) than you think. If you're looking for a way to cultivate some calm, check out some of the surprising ways to banish your blues below. Soon you'll be feeling relaxed and ready to take on the stress of your day (yoga mats and trees optional).

Go back to your roots.
welcome home

They say home is where the heart is -- but it can also be where the zen is. There's nothing quite like the comforts of the old and familiar. Going home can bring back memories of Saturday morning cartoons and holidays with the family -- and that source of nostalgia doesn't just induce positive emotions, it reminds us of the value of the little moments. As author Elizabeth Wagele explains, by recalling those memories, we can banish the stressful feelings we try to fight on a daily basis. "Indulging in nostalgia is different from reminiscing and can counteract loneliness, boredom, and anxiety and inspire optimism," she wrote in a Psychology Today blog. "[E]xperience is a prized possession that no one can take away."

Let out a heavy sigh.
breathing

If life is weighing you down, sometimes letting it all out through your breath is the only way to lift yourself up. When we focus on our breath, we have the power to calm our nervous system so we can get ourselves back to balance. But if you're looking for a way to ignite your inner zen -- and fast -- you can quickly reset your body and mind through deep sighs. Talk about an easy, feel-good way to power through tension.

Visit your local cafe.
coffee

While that 3 p.m. caffeine habit may not be the best idea for your sleep, inhaling the heavy, warm aroma of the drink can be smart. Next time you're feeling a little frustrated, head over to the nearest cafe (or coffee pot). In a small study on rats, researchers found that the smell of coffee reduced stress levels. Forget about stopping to smell the roses -- we'll be stopping to smell the latte.

Paint your thoughts blue.
blue scene

If you're a little overwhelmed or high-strung, try visualizing (or surrounding yourself with) the color blue. Color psychology associates the hue with a sense of calm, and some research has found that exposure to blue light can help relieve stress. Need a little help? Try picturing one of these relaxing scenes.

If all else fails: When nothing goes right, go left.
left turn

Sometimes all it takes to traverse the peaks and valleys of life is a simple shift in perspective. When Plan A doesn't work, there's always a Plan B (or a C or a D) -- and as author and coach Lisa Manterfield explains, reframing how we approach overwhelming situations can do wonders for our ability to get back on track. "Sometimes, we get so caught up in chasing our dreams that we lose track of what it was we really wanted in the first place," she wrote in a Psychology Today blog. "Sometimes, a shift in perspective can be enough to show us that the things we thought we could never have were there for us all along."


This GPS Guide is part of a series of posts designed to bring you back to balance when you're feeling off course.

GPS Guides are our way of showing you what has relieved others' stress in the hopes that you will be able to identify solutions that work for you. We all have de-stressing "secret weapons" that we pull out in times of tension or anxiety, whether they be photos that relax us or make us smile, songs that bring us back to our heart, quotes or poems that create a feeling of harmony or meditative exercises that help us find a sense of silence and calm. We encourage you to visit our other GPS Guides here, and share with us your own personal tips for finding peace, balance and tranquility.

5 Ways Your Friends Make You Happier, Healthier And An All-Around Better Person
The Huffington Post  | By Lindsay Holmes
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Posted: 07/09/2014 8:23 am EDT Updated: 07/09/2014 8:59 am EDT Print ArticleFRIENDS

Where would we be without our friends?

Not only do they lift us up when we're down and celebrate when we're successful, they're essentially an extension of our family (and sometimes they become our actual family). And while we can wax poetic on how our social relationships are crucial to our everyday life, there's also real science showing how our friendships actually benefit our well-being on a physical and emotional level.

As if you needed any more reasons to be grateful for your BFF, below are five ways your social bonds can have a positive impact on your health and happiness. After all, what are friends for?

They keep you calm.
friends calm

Feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders? Your BFF can help. According to a 2011 study, spending time with your friends can help decrease your stress. In a culture where almost 50 percent of us have experienced stressful events in the past year, our friends can be a much-needed rock.

They increase your sense of belonging.
supportive friend

Connecting to others not only makes you more compassionate, but building friendships also gives you a greater sense of belonging and meaning. According to Karyn Hall, Ph.D., director of the Dialectical Behavior Therapy Center in Houston, Texas, friends can also be a gateway to feeling a part of something bigger. "A sense of belonging to a greater community improves your motivation, health and happiness," she wrote in a recent Psychology Today blog. "When you see your connection to others, you know that all people struggle and have difficult times. You are not alone. There is comfort in that knowledge."

They help you battle health issues.
health

Having a friend by your side can help big challenges seem smaller -- and our health is no exception. Research has shown that strong social support systems have a positive effect when you're battling a disease, cut your risk for dementia and also alleviate depression.

They can improve your mood.
friends laughing

In addition to squashing your stress, your social relationships may also have a positive influence on your overall mood. Researchers have found that making new friends can lift your spirits through the release of oxytocin in the body. Not to mention the fact that no one can cheer you up like your friends can -- who else knows the ins and outs of your brain and behaviors like your BFF? (As Aristotle once said, a friend is "a single soul dwelling in two bodies.")

They can help you live longer.
old friends

Your friends may have an immediate impact on your life right now, but a 2009 study found that they can also help you later on. Our social bonds have been scientifically proven to help us live longer, possibly due in part to the healthy influences they have on our daily behaviors. Our friends can help us stop smoking, eat better and dodge loneliness later in life -- all key components for longevity. Not a bad reason to be thankful for your pals.

Turning Japanese could help you live to 100!   
The Japanese have lower obesity levels, the world's longest life expectancy and lower rates of cancer than in the UK - here is how to copy the lifestyle.
 
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Turning Japanese could help you live to 100! Forget the Med Diet - eat until you're only 80% full, have health checks every year and switch to seaweed and sushi

Japanese live longer and are less likely to get cancer and heart disease
The Japanese 'way of life' is could lead you to a healthier lifestyle

While we eat vegetables and fish, all slathered in olive oil, hoping to benefit from the healthy Mediterranean diet, the Japanese way of life is attracting the attention of research scientists studying health and longevity.
Those who live on the East Asian islands have the longest life expectancy, at 82.5 years compared to our 80, and  the highest proportion of centenarians, including Misao Okawa, 116, perhaps the oldest person in the world.
Their obesity rate is just 3.5 per cent, compared to a quarter of Britons. Rates of breast cancer, prostate cancer and heart disease in Japan are also much lower than those in the UK. Here, experts reveal the Japanese habits that can help you live to 100...
Chop it up: Give your lifestyle an Oriental twist by following the Japanese way   
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Chop it up: Give your lifestyle an Oriental twist by following the Japanese way
DITCH DESSERT
THE HEALTHY HABIT 'In Japan people tend to finish off meals with green tea or fruit rather than a pudding,' says Dr Craig Wilcox. 'Dessert is something to be taken with coffee in the afternoon, if at all, and the portions are much smaller than in the West.'
THE THEORY Increasing evidence has linked sugar to weight gain, and related diseases such as diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure.
THE EVIDENCE Japanese people consume on average 48.8g sugar per day, compared with the British who get through 100.4g a day, according to recent statistics from the Food and Agriculture Organisation of the United Nations.
 

SWAP SALAD FOR SEAWEED
THE HEALTHY HABIT Experts link Japanese health and longevity to a diet low in fat and high in fruit and sea vegetables such as seaweed.
THE THEORY Seaweed is packed with disease-fighting antioxidants and can help you to lose weight.
THE EVIDENCE In March, scientists at Newcastle University reported that alginate, a compound found in seaweed, stops the body absorbing fat. Their study showed that a fourfold increase in intake of alginate boosted suppression of fat digestion  by 75 per cent.
LIVE LIKE THE JAPANESE If you want to try seaweed, buy wakame flakes,  available at health- food stores, soak in water for five minutes and add to salads.
Eating habits: By practicing 'hara hachi bu' - stop when you are 80 per cent full - and eating sushi, which has omega 3 rich fish and  sea vegetables such as seaweed, you could lengthen your life   
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Eating habits: By practicing 'hara hachi bu' - stop when you are 80 per cent full - and eating sushi, which has omega 3 rich fish and sea vegetables such as seaweed, you could lengthen your life
STOP BEFORE YOU'RE FULL
THE HEALTHY HABIT The remote Japanese island of Okinawa has the highest proportion of centenarians in the world, and some credit this to the practice of 'hara hachi bu' – eat until you're eight-tenths full.
THE THEORY If you stop before you're full, and wait, you'll find you don't need those last few mouthfuls after all, so you'll eat less, staying slim and healthy.
THE EVIDENCE This theory is based on the delay between the stomach becoming full and the brain receiving this signal, which experts agree takes 20 minutes – which means many of us, by eating too quickly, end up having more than we need. While the British love  'a clean plate', evidence  shows calorie restriction helps to maintain a healthy weight, and protect against diseases such as heart disease and cancer. A 20-year study on monkeys showed that those whose calorie intake was restricted by 30 per cent had longer life spans and showed slower ageing of the brain.
LIVE LIKE THE JAPANESE Have dainty portion sizes and you'll be less likely to overeat, says Naomi Moriyama, author of Japanese Women Don't Get  Old Or Fat. 'The Japanese daily calorie intake is ten per cent less than in the UK. That's because the food pattern is more filling, and food is served on much smaller plates.'
SAVOUR SUSHI (BUT HOLD THE SOY SAUCE)
THE HEALTHY HABIT Sushi is a good source of omega 3 fatty acids, important for brain and heart health. The Japanese eat 80g to 100g of fish every day, while the British struggle to eat one portion of oily fish a week.
THE THEORY 'Sushi is a great source of omega 3 fatty acids, and it's also a healthy way to eat protein because you're not accompanying it with saturated fat as you do in a Western diet,' says Dr Craig Wilcox of the Okinawa Research Center for Longevity Science.
THE EVIDENCE Research has found that Japan's low rate of heart disease was down to their enjoyment of fish and seafood. Japanese men had less cholesterol in their arteries than US men,  even though they had similar blood-pressure readings and higher rates of smoking. A high fish diet may have a protective effect against artery-clogging.
LIVE LIKE THE JAPANESE Have sushi or oily fish at least once a week, but Dr Wilcox warns not  to cover it in soy sauce, or it becomes very high in salt.
Traditional movement: By walking to work and practicing Tai Chi, the Japanese people improve fitness and psychological well--being   
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Traditional movement: By walking to work and practicing Tai Chi, the Japanese people improve fitness and psychological well--being
WALK TO WORK
THE HEALTHY HABIT Driving  is expensive in Japan, so many people rely on public transport and walking. 'One of the  biggest health secrets of the Japanese lifestyle is walking,' says Naomi Moriyama. 'People walk two or three times per day on average, and spend radically less time in cars.'
THE THEORY Going places on foot results in a daily dose of at least 30 to 60 minutes of routine, incidental exercise, which gives a very powerful health boost.
THE EVIDENCE Walking for two-and-a-half hours a week could add seven years to your life, Harvard University researchers reported in 2012. They reviewed six long-term studies and found that even 75 minutes of brisk walking could extend life by almost two years.
LIVE LIKE THE JAPANESE Incorporate walking into your daily routine and think about whether you really need to drive, says Moriyama. 'Most people can find a way to briskly walk for 30 minutes a day.'
BALANCE YOUR LIFE
THE HEALTHY HABIT It's common to see groups of adults practising tai chi in parks in Japan. The ancient Chinese martial art combines deep breathing and very slow, graceful movements.
THE THEORY Tai chi is considered a good form of exercise for older people because of the minimal impact on the joints. It's  also thought to be good for improving balance and mobility and reducing stress.
THE EVIDENCE A 2011 study reviewed a number of studies on tai chi and concluded  that the practice can prevent falls by improving balance, and that it is also good for psychological wellbeing.
LIVE LIKE THE JAPANESE Tai chi is suitable for everyone. Find an instructor in your area by visting the  Tai Chi Union of Great Britain website, taichiunion.com.
EMBRACE BACTERIA
Know the score: Japanese are required to have annual health checks
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Know the score: Japanese are required to have annual health checks
THE HEALTHY HABIT For centuries, the Japanese have been eating fermented or pickled vegetables.
THE THEORY The vegetables are pre-digested by bacteria, which make their nutrients easier for the body to absorb, and stimulate the growth of 'good' bacteria in the gut.
THE EVIDENCE Research shows this healthy gut bacteria is linked to the immune system – 80 per cent of our immune cells are in the gut. Fermented vegetables provide a rich source of  lactic acid bacteria which are thought to be the most useful for gut health.
LIVE LIKE THE JAPANESE Research shows suguki, a pickled turnip, could protect against flu. Miso is also made from fermented soy beans.
TOFU BEATS MENOPAUSE
THE HEALTHY HABIT Amazingly, there is no word for 'hot flushes' in Japan and  studies show that women there suffer much less during the menopause than women in the West. Why? Some experts suggest it's down to their high intake of soy beans and soy foods, such as tofu.
THE THEORY Soy foods contain isoflavones, which mimic the effect of oestrogen, the hormone that naturally falls in women in middle age.
THE EVIDENCE In 2012, a major review on the subject found  that two daily servings of soy can reduce the frequency and severity of hot flushes by 26 per cent, compared with a placebo. The paper, published in Menopause: The Journal Of  The North American Menopause Association, reviewed 19 previous studies which looked  at a total of 1,200 women.
Melissa Melby, a medical anthropologist at the University of Delaware and co-author of the study, said the effect is probably greater in Japanese women who have eaten soy products from birth.
'But if you're 50 and you've never touched soy, it's not too late,' she added. 'We've found that it still helps.'
LIVE LIKE THE JAPANESE 'In Japan they have tofu a couple of times a week,' says nutritionist Marlene Watson-Tara. 'It's  best to get soy beans in this fermented form rather than a soya burger, as it's much more easily digested.' Try tofu in stir fries or Asian broths and stews.
KNOW YOUR NUMBERS
THE HEALTHY HABIT Everyone in Japan is strongly encouraged to attend a free annual health check. Employers are charged with ensuring that their workers do not  gain weight.
THE THEORY Gerontologist Dr Craig Wilcox says Japanese people are encouraged to be health-conscious, to eat well, take regular exercise and listen to the body. 'There's a sense of responsibility to take care of yourself as you get older – you don't want to be a nuisance so you stay healthy.'
THE EVIDENCE A study in The Lancet concluded that a major reason for Japan's excellent life expectancy was heavy government investment in the public healthcare system, free annual health checks, and a sense of health-consciousness among its citizens.
Increasingly, doctors are stressing that changes in lifestyles are the key to reducing disease, death and the strain on the NHS.
LIVE LIKE THE JAPANESE Although there are no free health check-ups in the UK, that doesn't mean you can't pay attention to your health and diet and keep a healthy weight.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2664450/Turning-Japanese-help-live-100-Forget-Med-Diet-eat-youre-80-health-checks-year-switch-seaweed-sushi.html#ixzz35LJrVmH3
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17 Lifestyle Fanatics Share Their Secrets to Success
Posted: 07/06/2014 10:15 am EDT Updated: 07/06/2014 10:59 am EDT Print Article
Too many people settle for less than they deserve in life. This has lead to a majority of people reporting they are not happy. If we're going to change this, (and if we respect human life, we better) it's time to look for different ways of doing things. Seventeen successful lifestyle fanatics would like to share how they each created a passionate life of freedom.

1. Don't let your circumstances be an excuse.
Even if you are barely scraping by financially, working a job and have kids, you can still start a business that lets you live the life of your dreams.-- Scottie Hobbs, Elite Top 10 Beachbody Coach

2. Recognize the value of your creative endeavors.
If your passion involves an artistic endeavor, you don't have to settle for being broke. Stop calling yourself a "starving artist." Stop "suffering" for your art. Recognize the immense value your creative endeavors bring to the world, create a way to get paid for it, and pursue your dream. -- Bob Baker​, author of the Guerrilla Music Marketing Handbook

3. Stop worrying about failing.
Failure is great. It's part of the process. It's just an event. Failure does not define you unless you let it. When you fail, just get up and move on. -- Jeet Banarjee, founder of Visionary Media Group & TEDx Speaker

4. Stop thinking stuff will make you happy.
When you get caught up in accumulating nice cars, a house in the Hamptons and lots of stuff, it becomes a prison because you have to work more and more to pay for the stuff that doesn't make you any happier anyway. -- Jordan Harbinger, co-founder of The Art of Charm

5. Be consistent.
Consistently doing the same thing over and over again is how you build something. Be consistent and patiently wait for it to grow. At first you may not see any results, but keep going and you'll see the small things you've done add up to something bigger. -- Jonathan Taylor, host of The Beginner Internet Business Podcast

6. Do something that scares you.
If you are afraid of doing something, do it. Doing something you are afraid of will move you toward the lifestyle you desire. -- Loralee Hutton, author of Info Product Complete

7. Build strong relationships
Relationships with other people help you get things done. When you help or add value to other people, they are willing and even excited to help you out when you need it. Be strategic about helping other people. -- Nick Unsworth, host of Life on Fire TV

8. Create passive income streams.
You need freedom to feed your passions, and that comes from passive income streams. Plan strategically and invest the money from your current job into passive income streams, the first being your own business that supports the lifestyle you want. -- Ryan Daniel Moran, founder of Freedom Fast Lane

9. Start now.
The biggest regret most people have about pursuing what they want is not starting sooner. Well, what's wrong with today? Start now, and tomorrow, you won't have that regret! -- Travis Sherry, world traveler and host of #1 travel podcast

10. Don't strive for perfection.
Don't get bogged down in details and making everything perfect. Know when good enough is good enough. An endless pursuit of perfection will get you nowhere. -- Nick Loper, Chief Side Hustler at Side Hustle Nation

11. Set a time budget.
Figure out how much time you can devote to pursing your business and stick to it. Everyone has to work around the realities of their lives, so work with what you have. Figure out how much time you can devote and then devote that time. -- Scott Fox, founder of Click Millionaires

12. Be OK with hearing "no."
When you're pursuing something big, you'll ask people to buy from you, to partner with you or any number of things. Sometimes they will say yes, sometimes they will say no. When they say no, it usually has more to do with their personal or business situation and has nothing to do with you. -- Jason Kanigan, president of Sales On Fire

13. Don't settle for mediocrity.
If you keep telling yourself the next job, the next promotion, the next whatever will be better, you'll never thrive. You'll settle for mediocrity. Go after what you want. -- Sheri Fink, author and founder of "The Whimsical World of Sheri Fink" children's brand

14. Surround yourself with excellence.
Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you and who have achieved success. They succeeded for a reason, and there is probably something you can learn from them. -- Christina Daves, serial entrepreneur

15. Don't life a life of regrets.
We don't know how much time we have left. Take a hard look at your life and ask what you would want to do differently. Now do it. -- Justin Brokop, coach

16. Hustle.
Success takes a lot of hard work. You have to get up and do the work every single day. Don't be afraid to try something new and different.-- Mike Kawula, entrepreneur and INC 500 Award Winner

17. Stop listening to other people.
Each week for over a year, I've interviewed successful lifestyle fanatics who rejected the common script for how life is "supposed" to be and created a passionate life of freedom. Each of them have a different idea of what that means, but they all have one thing in common: They decided what they wanted out of life and created it. If you want to create the life of your dreams, you have to stop listening to the advice of people who who are in the majority and listen to the ones who are happy. -- Jeff Steinmann, lifestyle fanatic